Ice Chewer on Hooking Up

"King of the class, I'd rather lay up with a hottie

Single doesnt mean Im lookin for somebody (I Hate College Remix)" 

"All the fellas nod their heads

All the ladies fall in love

Or in lust, either one baby i don't give a fuck

Uh uhh my tab's open, yeah (Tabs Open)"

Above, my fave Sammy Adams uneloquently references the nature of our fuck-it-all-lets-get-laid college party culture. I'd like to go ahead and disagree with his prospect that ladies can fall in love during the course of one night. It's very much only the lust option. Then again, it's not like he gives a fuck. 

A couple nights ago, I was jamming to Sammy, absolutely wanting to party while simultaneously berating myself for entertaining such slutty desires. Then, I started watching old episodes of Gossip Girl, and Dan and Serena's bus scene comes up. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch it.)

Hot much? Sooooo hot. Hot enough for my mind to start spinning its own forbidden, cherry-licking fantasies. 

Those are just two examples, but tons of magazines, hormones, music and moving pixels surround us daily, screaming 'SEX! Get yours today-- fast, easy and better than ever!' They're all triggers, driving us to crave sweaty, salty spontaneous risks, adrenaline rushes and thoughtless passion culminating in ultimate feral pleasure.

Hence, the appeal of a hookup. If all goes well, and everyone's on the same page, it seems pretty awesome. 

Yet, I have a bone to pick with my sex drive. I'm not sure how I feel about hookups. 

My non hypothetical question for you: Do hookups make you REALLY, SUPER happy? Like, truly just bubbling inside because you know that what you just did was incredibly fulfilling and passionately flamed with absolute respect and love for your partner, touching on a phenomenal spiritual connection that dwarfs your physical one? Probably not. Aside from seeming ridiculous, that type of experience is not the point. You know that when you wake up in the morning, this person won't be in your life anymore. Well, maybe -- but not like that. 

Yet, some people (ahem, Catholics, for sure) aspire to reach that spiritual level in sex. That's one reason why they put it on such a pedestal, forbidden and shameful for experimental, unwed teenagers to try attaining. However, I'm starting to think that that type of sex is very different from hook up sex -- different enough that they shouldn't be compared, but just put in their separate categories and let be. Okay, okay -- my complete inexperience with this subject renders my opinions fairly useless. But still. It makes a little sense, right? 

At this point in our lives, many of us don't have a steady significant other to share sex with in a meaningful way. Our lifestyles and goals are different than comparatively older couples. Is it so wrong to want to let loose some while we're young? What are we supposed to do with our sex drives? Let them rot there, and then leak their way into other parts of our bodies and brains, eventually to be manifested by changes in mood and general well-being? Maybe that's far-fetched, but I don't think so. 

I suppose I'm preaching sexual freedom. Never thought I'd do that. At the same time, I do believe that sex can be sacred and special and all that. I'm just not sure that the two are mutually exclusive, so I find it frustrating that people who do one assume that the other is wrong and inferior. Hence, the hyperboles of 'prude' or 'slut'. Can't we be both, or neither? 

Alright, it's late. I can't think anymore, from now on everything will be gibberish. haha, later guys. 


Ice Chewer is nineteen, female, straight and single.

April on hooking up

In my intro, I said I'm not much for hooking up because I prefer being in love. And I do.

But I'm not always in a relationship by any means - I am in no way a 'serial monogamist.' There is definitely merit to the idea of hooking up without romantic attachment; it's something to do (to satisfy, if you will) between more serious relationships.

Still, based on the very little experience with this that I do have, I find that purely sexual (that is, non-romantic) lust-induced hooking up doesn't fully satisfy without that emotional factor. I need substance for my mind to stay interested. Like, what am I supposed to think about? Maybe I'm still a little bit prude (I still have a hard time believing people are having sex but I mean, we're in college) but I don't think I'm fully comfortable with hooking up, knowing that it's for sexual needs only. Maybe I'm not that comfortable with myself yet - it's hard to be that intimate with someone else. It's, like, ultimate vulnerability. At least for me.

And to clarify, I define 'hooking up' as anything from making out to sex, and everything in between.

Now, let's talk alcohol. We're in college. We drink. A lot. We get drunk. Often. And uninhibited late-night clouded-judgement hooking up is common. That's a fact. But we like it. (And when I say we, I don't mean to alienate the wholesome morally-upstanding people who prefer sobriety. Kudos!) It definitely leads to awkward mornings after. But I know that I like drinking because of the uninhibitedness - I can be as crazy as my liver will let me, and it's not my fault - it's the 5 shots of Svedka I pounded before going to this frat party. Alcohol allows you to hook up with that guy you've been eyeing but were too shy to meet sober, and you hope that he's less drunk than you because he'll remember everything and you'll just remember that you finally worked up the (drunken) courage to talk to him! We could go on about this topic for years. (Which is why there are guest posts!)

Hooking up is made a million times easier with the presence of alcohol and the acceptance of binge-drinking. Now, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Discuss.

April is nineteen, female, straight and single.