Hey Everyone,
I guess you must be wondering - who is this Casual Dater person?
Well, I can tell you a few things while keeping my anonymity:
- I am a female.
- I am Jewish.
- I am a college student.
Also, as you may have figured out from my outrageously clever pseudonym (I'm allowed to toot my own horn a little bit), I am a Casual Dater, in an ideal world anyway.
Ever since I was in 6th grade (no, seriously), I've wanted to casually date the guys I've liked. At the time, I don't think I knew that what I wanted was called "casual dating," but I definitely had this vague idea that going on a date shouldn't automatically lead into a relationship.
As I've grown older, I've realized that this relatively simple concept causes a lot of problems for most people. There's this perception, even in high school and college that going on a date equals being in a relationship. I understand that it's often a huge step to get that first date with your special someone, but let's be serious here. Even if that hottie in math class is great eye candy and you've had a few great conversations about differential equations (assuming you're into that sort of thing,) that doesn't mean that you'll hit it off on a date or be good romantic partners. It simply does not follow.
Let's face it, not every attractive guy or girl makes a great boyfriend or girlfriend. If that were the case, there would probably be a lot fewer single people right now. In my mind, it doesn't make sense to kid ourselves into thinking that we only need one date to decide whether we want to commit to somebody.
I'm not really sure where all of this undue pressure came from, but now it's gotten to the point where I am just done with it. I'm tired of losing some great guy friends because they wanted to go on a date with me or I wanted to go on a date with them and thought that more was required from the situation. The situation always seems to get awkward because one of the people always feels as though he or she must make a larger commitment than is truly necessary.
So here's to a world where CD can find lots of men who want to try things out before talk of relationships, promise rings, and marriage enter the picture.
For now, I'm fine just figuring out other aspects of my life until more people are on the same page. Don't be fooled though! I definitely have strong opinions about what relationships and dating should be, I just haven't realized most of them yet.
Peace out,
CD
