I say this from personal experience: Dating a close friend does not ruin the friendship. Of course, it definitely can in some cases, but I’ll get to that later. Naturally, if you become really close to a friend of the opposite sex, some other feelings of attraction might develop, in addition to usual friendly love. To this, I say go for it. Don’t shy away from it just because they are your friend. Good things can happen and you never know until you give it a shot.
In a way I think people who date their best or close friends have different relationships than those who date people they instantly fall for. At the moment I can’t think of anyone I know personally who is/was in the latter relationship. Actually maybe a couple. But still. I conclude that most people date their friends, because obviously they know them better. People who date close friends tend to have a relationship that stems from the basis of that friendship and grows to the next level. It’s basically like hanging out with a friend but doing all those things couples do too. I don’t know. I just think that people with boyfriends or girlfriends who weren’t really friends before have a different balance of coupley stuff versus hanging out stuff.
I’ll also say that because of the way high school dating works, people tend to be friends with others before they are their bf/gf. But once we’re beyond high school, we meet people randomly and go on a date and if we hit it off, then that’s great. But in that case, you start off with the goal of finding a relationship partner or whatever, you know what I mean?
The problem with dating friends is the worry about whether the friendship will be ruined as a result of the relationship ending. Obviously high school relationships don’t last forever. It’s sad but it’s reality. I think that if you were friends before you started dating, you can remain friends afterwards. Of course, there is a period of awkwardness, but I can assure you, it will subside in time. And everything will be back to normal and in a little while you’ll be laughing about how you two dated way back when. The exception to this is if something bad happens that causes the end of the relationship. Something that totally kills every connection you ever had. Like, for example, infidelity or abuse or crazy personality transformations. Something like that would put into question the future of the friendship.
If you and your best-friend-of-the-opposite-sex (or same sex if you prefer: we don’t discriminate) are into eachother, I say go for it. Neither of you wants anything bad to happen, and 9 times out of 10 nothing will. You also get to skip over (most of) the awkward stuff because you’ll already be way more comfortable hanging out with eachother than you would with anyone else. But there is definitely awkward stuff. Like you’ve been so used to just being friends, how do you go about acting like you’re dating? What makes it any different? Aside from making out in the hallways at school, which is a practice I do not condone anyway. Once you give it a shot, it’s up to you to decide whether you like life better as friends or as more then friends and do what you will from there. But you never know until you try.
I don’t know if this answered the question (if there even was one), or any question for that matter.
22 comments:
For the record: I do condone making out in the hallways.
OMGSH OMGSH OMGSH April you changed my life...I mean after you assured me there there wouldn't be a period of awkwardness I went for it and BAM now everything is amazing. No really...nothing happened this is kinda retarded. Although I'm sure everyone loves reading about your speculation due to lack of experience in any matter. Also, I would like to note that relationships can last out of highschool, in fact many do. Just because it is doubtful that you will ever have a relationship doesn't mean that others can't. So I encourage everyone don't dump them on the last day of school just because April said its what happens. Actually, just in general I disagree with nearly everything that April has said, so I would recommend just not paying attention to her, but thats just me. Good luck everyone in the future, and don't worry, April assures you that the period of awkwardness will end. Thank goodness for that.
anonymous, don't be a douche, whoever you are.
In fact, April has an awesome boyfriend who is most certainly cooler than you.
It is fine that you have a different opinion than April, but, please, if you're going to rant about how anything April says is totally wrong, do it politely.
OMGSH now Duncan changed my life too OMGSH.
seriously, be a troll somewhere else.
lmao dunc i love you.
DUNC OMGSH DUNC I love you. I mean its completely wrong cause I have a boyfriend already, but I'm okay with bad relationships. I mean its just high school, so we should all just be friends and make out together in parks! I LOVE YOU DUNC!!!!!! -April
What are you even incoherently gibbering about anyway? Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about. You're merely imitating something that was said by April and then creating a personality for her. It doesn't even make sense either.
Get a life, anonymous, you're not funny.
Although that may have been incoherent... It was not a created personality. All the views expressed in that were the vies of April. Clearly she believes in making out in parks or she would not go make out in parks with people allowing herself to get caught by the police. I mean, if she didn't believe in it she would not have willingly done that. Additionally, she believes that since it is just high school relationships don't matter which is presumably why she finds it okay to love you whilst she has a boyfriend. And then April just generally sucks at relationships because, well although I have no personal experience in said matter, thank goodness, its just true. As a result, I find it rather difficult to believe that that was a fabricated personality for it quite accurately reflects her views. Additionally, perhaps one should take into consideration that anonymous was not trying to be funny and merely sardonic. Anonymous would also like to state that since anonymous has taken April's advice anonymous is living quite happily. ALL THANKS TO YOU APRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, you and DUNC!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Anonymous,
Do you realize how immature you look making ad hominem attacks over a period of several days through anonymous comments on a blog?
Though I don't approve of "Annonymous #1," sometimes April, I do think you can have a perspective on things that I can't relate to. At all. You too, Duncan. But that is because I'm a different person, and a lot of the scenarios you talk about aren't applicable to me. But sometimes, you two do seem rather high-schooler. Which isn't bad! But it's not for me.
Anonymous 1, my advice to you?
Get some guts and give your name.
Seriously, not even willing to write your name? That's weak.
At least give a fake name, you know? Just so you don't seem as gutless.
Um well...first I am only making attacks over a period of days, cause April and Dunc aren't responding back fast enough.
To Sara. I actually really agree with you. April just has different perspective opinions on things because A: She is communist. B she is "special", and not like the special kinda...I mean like "special" in a non positive way. Same for Duncan. They are very high-schooler. I mean...life isn't about Date a Best Friend OMGSH I have been going out for a day OMGSH best day of my life. Its about mature relationships, which I do not believe either of you (April and Dunc) could have for a very very long time due to lack of maturity. So...keep that in mind while you counsel those who you believe to be inferior of thought. I don't believe high-schooler thought is really for anyone except those that are too immature to deal with things in an adult manner. As result, April and Dunc, good luck teaching little kids how to be all grown up by dating their friends, especially with catchy catch phrases from Toy Story...
To Eric, I respect your opinion, and as a result I will give my name. I call myself Keith. For, well...I mean its a pretty solid name. Although it may be weak to have not said my name, its not as weak as those that read this pretending to take interest such that Dunc and April don't seem to waste their lives talking about things which are no use to anyone.
I leave with a statement. With a greater amount of importance than the ones listed previously. One must always date a good friend, for...if you are not friends with your boyfriend or girlfriend then I could not see it lasting. If you aren't friends the relationship could not last later in life. Although April may not believe in dating to find who you want to be with in life it is clearly why people end up dating, so...although she may be fine living her days out in a house with low ceilings, without anyone else, I encourage all to go out and find happiness. That was a pretty lame conclusion; however, what can you expect? This is the Panorama of the Diametrically Opposed.
I hate anonymous comments because when you are an asshole to me or Duncan or anyone else, I don't know who to hate. But for the record, I very strongly dislike whoever you are. You're immature and offensive and annoying and mean. Just because you don't agree with what I think doesn't mean you can attack me as a person. Don't call me a communist. Don't mock me or Duncan. Don't be rude and disrespectful on my blog. Don't be rude and disrespectful, period. Don't make generalizations about me. Understand that this blog is from the point of view of Duncan and me, and if you don't agree, I recommend you comment with whatever you disagree with. Or write a Guest Post. Or go write your own blog about whatever you want. Don't read our blog if you're going to be a douche. Grow up.
We have stated many times that we are well aware of our lack of experience. But it doesn't matter. We are the ones who put our time into writing insightful things and stating our opinions on high school dating. Of course we're high-schooler-y. That's kind of the point. Of course relationships can last beyond high school. But it's not realistic. I'm sorry you don't realize that.
But really, if you're going to be a jackass and write evil things about me or anyone else, you can leave and stay far away from me and this blog. Since you hate both so much.
In case I wasn't clear before, grow up.
Furthermore, I'd like to know why you're interpreting what I believe the way you are. I believe in healthy relationships, even if they are in high school. They have a profound impact on our future. I think everyone should find happiness as well, but happiness is not found in a relationship. You can't depend on anyone else for your own joy.
Duncan and I don't lack maturity. You do. Obviously you're the one who can't "deal with things in an adult manner."
"Although April may not believe in dating to find who you want to be with in life"
^When did I ever say that? You're terribly mistaken. You're the one who thinks that the person you date in high school is the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. That's a romantic and unrealistic notion. I'm the one who believes that experiences one has throughout high school and college and beyond helps you learn about yourself and what you want and eventually find the one. You're the one who doesn't realize that there is a life beyond high school and wherever you live and whoever you're dating. This is not it; there is a million times more to discover.
I'd just like the reiterate that you are an incredibly mean-hearted person. I hope you realize that.
Anonymous 1, if you respect my opinion, then give your real name, as I have.
At least your real first name, as laughable a name as that may be, as mine is. Eric is a funny name.
Though I may miss my guess in that particular aspect.
if you're going to be rude, at least have the guts to own up to it.
this is ariel if it doesn't show
Ya know anonymous for every bad thing you said about April (none of which are true) theres probably a million that could be said about you, and maybe if you had the guts to not be anonymous we could say them.
And if you actually want to be taken seriously dont be anonymous in the future... or rude for that matter.
-Craig.
P.S. I agree with you completely April.
Anonymous 1 has not responded to the most recent criticisms of anonymous 1's comments.
Anonymous 1 is a coward. Craven cur.
For that matter, anonymous 1 is a gutless coward.
Wow...this is heated. Does anyone know who this anonymous person is? Kinda a jerk...anyways, they might not have responded since, the last like paragraph they wrote said "I leave with a statement" so maybe they left. Thank god if they did.
You can tell that someone knows that they're in the wrong if they don't post their name with what they say.
wow i know i am a little late, but this is ridiculous lol
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