I don’t think anyone believes there is a set code of rules to follow in order to become a “guy magnet,” except maybe Seventeen Magazine, whose July 2008 issue features an article about just that. According to the magazine, there are three (imo, retarded) rules to follow to be that one girl that gets all the guys.
First of all, there are always those girls who seem like they get all the guys. But do they really? Aren’t they just slutty? Or uncommitted? But I will say, there is definitely something awesome about being flirty and having lots of options :]
This week, Duncan and I have decided to make our own respective sets of rules for attracting guys. Next week (or next time we blog), we’ll make rules for attracting girls. We/I apologize for waiting, like, forever to blog again, but those crazy comments from the last post took up the better part of our blogging time. Anyway, on to the rules. These are concocted from whatever little personal experience I have as well as focus group research =)
The Rules of Attraction, as told by April:
Rule #1: Make him feel comfortable. What I mean is, just be relaxed and don’t be looking for anything. Don’t make him feel pressured to act a certain way and/or do certain things. Be easygoing and let what happens happen. Be friendly and smiley and welcoming. Be easy to talk to and easy to approach; be inviting. Sort of like, let yourself be exposed (figuratively, please) when the time comes.
Rule #2: Radiate happiness. I don’t mean smile 100% of the time or anything. But let it be known that you are having a good time and can laugh about things and smile about things. I think most guys want a girl who can laugh and find something positive in any situation. And smiles always make you look pretty, not to mention confident.
Rule #3: Be forward, a little. I don’t mean throw yourself at anyone. But sometimes, guys need more than just a little hint (not to say they’re thickheaded, but...). Haha, just kidding. Sometimes, guys like it if you are more forward. Not too forward though, in my opinion. Just don’t be shy.
Rule #4: Restrain yourself. This is probably the number one rule I live by. Don’t let yourself go overboard. Think about what you were going to do, and then take a couple steps back and STOP. THERE. This has a load of benefits. 1) You’re not going to look like a complete idiot throwing yourself at some guy. 2) It gives you time to gauge how much you really like him, if you do at all. 3) It gives you time to sit back and observe; you can figure out (or try to) if he likes you back. 4) If he does like you, it leaves him wanting more. =] Even if he doesn’t like you, you can see if he is attracted to you.
I have to say, it was very strange trying to write these. First of all, I’m not a guy. Therefore, I don’t really know what a guy would think of these rules. And also, this set of rules is a complete generalization, which is not ideal but sometimes necessary. It obviously doesn’t apply to everyone and how you use the rules, if at all, depends on who you are and who the guy is. Looking back at this, it’s not really the rules of attraction. It;s more like, how to get a guy to like you. Which is always fun, but not really the best thing to do in the long run. But I definitely believe you can make a guy like you. It’s totally possible. And it’s very fun to try :]
10 comments:
The getting a guy to like you thing reminds me, I was talking to Caroline last week and we were talking about how it seems that a lot of guys will take a girl talking to them as a sign that the girl likes him.
This of course isn't always true and is probably a bad way for guys to judge attraction. But, even though I know that this happens, I do this. It seems sort of dumb, because it perpetrates the stereotype that girls and guys can't just be friends, but that doesn't mean that a lot of people don't see talking as something more than it is.
In my opinion, you can just tell if someone likes you. It's in the way they act and talk to you. But apparently, as I realized last week when I was talking to some bffs of mine, this is not a normal thing. You really can't tell. So that is a good future blog post. Put that on the list.
Yeah, I find it really hard to tell if someone likes me. Girls are really hard to understand. haha
I find it amusing to think that April would know how to attract guys...
Also her last lines suggests that she likes leading people on, which isn't really a nice thing to do.
Anonymous, shut up. I thought we talked about this last time. NO one is going to take you serious if you don't have the guts to name yourself.
This isn't a blog to make personal attacks at April.
And April has a boyfriend, so I'm confused as to how she fails to attract guys.
And she definately doesn't lead people on.
Merci pour ces précieux conseils April, je vais faire en sorte de les appliquer la prochaine fois que je vois un mec mignon au lycée...c'est à dire jamais!^^
La France vous soutient et vous aime!
yeah, but anonymous did say something of value this time. i agree with april and say it is fun to try to make someone from the opposite sex attracted to you. but it does lead them on, especially if you have zero intent to start a relationship with them. its a little mean, cause its like getting their hopes up then smacking them back down.
Okay, let me clarify.
I am not advocating leading people on. I guess some people don't agree, but I think you can tell whether a person is flirting for the sake of flirting, or flirting because they like someone. They just send off different vibes, and everyone should be aware that just because someone is flirting does not mean they like you. Again, I really think you can just tell.
Like Duncan's first comment said, people who are known for jumping to quick conclusions when a girl or guy flirts with them should probably not be flirted with at whim. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure how this fits into the whole girls and guys being friends thing. It's a good question. I guess I think that if you flirt with someone without any further intentions or whatever, you're friends, period. And just because you would date this person, doesn't mean you aren't "just friends." Oh, and with regards to the ladder theory, which is more in line with what Duncan was saying, I think girls do the same and think that guys like them when they don't, so the ladder theory doesn't really hold true.
I think that flirting for the sake of flirting is very hard to figure out from real flirting. I mean, maybe I just can't tell, but most of the idea, I have no idea unless someone tells me.
So, either, April, you need to teach me how to tell the difference (because I don't get vibes), or chance how you flirt to have fun and not to actually flirt.
Now, not to say that I can't detect it at all, because sometimes things that might be "flirting" is obviously just play between friends, and I understand that, but sometimes it is subtle enough to make it difficult to tell the difference.
uhhh its kinda weird how this kid is so anti-april
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