Anonymous Guest Post on Hooking Up

You're pleasantly buzzed, and then you take that one extra shot, so now you've drunk just a little too much, but it's still okay.  You haven't lost your mind yet, just your inhibition.  So when that object of your affection or casual acquaintance you always thought was cool or even perfect stranger whose name is mumbled in the darkness to be forgotten the next day comes by, they're a little more appealing, and you're a little bolder.  A touch here, a touch there, and soon you're off to somewhere more private to get to know each other better: one of your rooms, or just a couch in a corner if time/place are restricting.

It's often a one-time thing.  Or maybe a two-time thing.  Or it could progress into a friends w/ benefits situation.  It could even evolve into a relationship, given the right circumstances.  But what is it?  Hookup.  What does the word even mean?  It covers a wide range from making out to fully having sex, and everything in between.  "Heavy petting", "hanky panky".  It's vague enough to protect from judging or condemnation, but telling enough to allow a claim of "doing something with someone" and not being alone, while reserving the details for yourself.  The word's power lies in its lack of specificity.

The practice, contrary to some media reports, isn't inherently dangerous.  Sure, it's risky (and stupid) to be having a lot of unprotected intimate contact with a lot of people,or to enter into situations where consent is questionable.  But, in my experience, there isn't a pervasive hookup culture that's degrading, or damaging to girls (many of whom want some just as much as guys do!), or preventive of real, healthy relationships.  Those who say so probably overestimate the "purity" of past times.

Hookups can allow you to explore without committing yourself too deeply.  You can figure out what works and what doesn't, see what feels good, and practice bedroom encounters without heavy-handed emotions getting in the way.  It might be easier to have a good time by following some guidelines:

*use protection when needed, pretty straightforward
*always make sure it's consensual for both of you for the whole tiem, because only consent is sexy
*be polite afterwards: even if you regret it, it's not going to make matters better by being rude to your partner; don't blame him/her for your own succumbing to Captain Morgan
*whether you're hooking up with a different person every weekend or whether you refuse to do anything without a Facebook-official relationship and everything, ask yourself if this is what you really want; you never know unless you try
*contact health or psych services if things turn out not the way you wanted it to

Basically, don't assume too much beforehand, like that the person in your sights thinks you're as hot as you think you are, and afterwards, accept that it happened and continue if you both want to or just move on.  A hookup can provide experience, stories to share, even maybe a bit of self-knowledge, and, of course, pleasure.  So have fun!

Just my 2 cents.


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