Guest Contributor on a very good topic

April and Duncan have gotten extremely lazy with updating this little blog of theirs, and I think it’s about time someone brought it back to life. I want to write about a topic that I think gets brushed under the rug A LOT. That is, when a best friend gets a boy/girl friend, what happens to your relationship?

Now, I know that every person is an individual and that everyone acts differently in different situations and blah blah blah… BUT it can’t be denied that when your best friend gets a boy/girl friend, everything changes. All of the sudden, there’s a new person in that person’s life and the balance of things gets super altered. To make a chemistry reference, the chemical equation has to be fixed so that everything can remain stable and nobody feels like they’re being rejected.

The problem is that no matter what your best friend TRIES to do, somebody ends up missing out, which only causes further conflict. A classic dilemma is this: A friend is celebrating their birthday, but she/he can’t decide how they want to spend their big day. One the one hand, his/her friends want to throw a huge party, but on the other hand, their beau wants to have a special day with him/her. Or at the very least, they want some quality alone time. The point is that the friend is forced to choose between his/her friends or his/her dating partner. Ultimately, somebody is going to feel as though their companionship is not as valuable as somebody else’s.

So how does one exit this loop? Or at the very least avoid the pain that’s involved? Truthfully, I’m not quite sure but my theory is this: If you truly care about someone, you’ll let them explore new things and meet new people. Every so often, someone new will come into the picture and change things up, but if your relationship was strong and real in the first place, then in time, everything will come back into balance. Eventually, the new will turn into the typical, and life will continue onwards. If things don’t work out, then there’s always time to meet someone new. And as a good friend, you’ll be there when it happens.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I normally never read an entire entry because they’re just too damn long. So yes, I like to keep my entries short. Please tell April and Duncan to get off their butts and write updates for this thing…because this whole “writing a guest blog” endeavor was quiet tiring.

~ Written by a CCMWMV

A guest post.

My age is the same as that of April dear's. My gender is the same as that of Duncan's. I would not hesitate to say that I am unlike either, and perhaps this change in perspective will prove to be of utmost interest to our esteemed readers. Given that, let me proceed to discuss a rather touchy topic. Or topics. Either or. I might write about one, perhaps two.

Prom is an interesting thing for high schoolers. It gives us a chance to socialize, and for socially inept people such as myself, well, that is not something to take lightly. However, I find it for whatever reason somewhat difficult to find a date. Well, you might ask, why is that so? Perhaps that can be attributed to my own fault, whether it be a personality that doesn't rub well with others, or a general state of hideousness that inherently causes those of the other gender to flinch and flee from my presence. I would like to imagine that neither is the case, as well, I do not believe I am possessed of either a remarkably awful personality or a malevolent and disgusting outward appearance, though I am quite sure my ex would beg to differ on both accounts. That being said, let us continue. Yes, I do wish to go to prom, so long as the particular girl I wish to go with is able and willing to go with me. Yes, April, you do not need to yell at me for not going. Because I fully intend to go, so long as that happens. Of course, the situation is somewhat muddled and complicated, but I hold no rancor or resentment towards the girl or the other person involved. Things just don't work out sometimes. But why do we, collectively as high schoolers, mostly anyway, yearn to go to prom? It is a confusing and oft perplexing question. Having given you, dear reader, somewhat of a backdrop to my situation and perspective, let us delve deeper.

I have been told that prom is an American tradition of sorts, one that should be followed and upheld. Perhaps, but I believe it to be far simpler. It is a more formal occasion for socializing, as I have mentioned. It is every girl's dream to go to prom and see what it's all about, and whatnot, as April has told me. However, and I speak solely for myself, I do not believe I would like to go, except if I were to go with a girl I liked, or at least could bear the company of, since well, for me, it is nice to spend time around someone I enjoy spending time around.

Let's talk about something of more personal importance to myself. Would you say that people deserve second chances in a relationship? If one goes bad, and the person genuinely changes, would he or she deserve a second chance? I believe so. People make mistakes, they change, and they grow older and wiser, to some degree. It is perhaps one of the most painful experiences to know that you are different, changed, better, and not be given a second chance. To realize that your mistake, however impossible for you to make again, has resulted in consequences permanent and definite, with no real hope for redemption. Despite this, for whatever reason, it is often hard for us to give those who deserve a second chance a second chance. We question whether they are fully changed, or truly different. We remember their past mistakes, the ones they made that were so hurtful and painful to us. But I believe that to forgive takes true character, something more than the average person is capable of. To give someone a real second chance, to wipe of the slate completely, is something truly remarkable. It takes good judgment, strong conviction, and ultimately, great faith to do so. On a personal level, I have made a tremendous number of mistakes, all of which hurt someone I cared about. These mistakes have helped me grow as a person, maturing into someone I believe to be truly different. I would not hesitate to say that the me of today is not the same as the me of even two months ago. The past two months has seen in me tremendous change and upheaval, a permanent shift in character that really is only possible because of the mistakes I have made. Mistakes are meant to be made, and with that, I believe we are meant to forgive, but not necessarily forget the pain we have felt from them. While we cannot forget that pain, we should also realize that those mistakes, however hurtful, are ones we too can make, and ones that often make us better people in the end. Those who make mistakes, and freely admit to it and change as a result, are definitely worthy of our forgiveness. We are meant to forgive those who hurt us, and in doing so, we recognize that people are capable of growth and development in character.

I appreciate that you have read this far. My thoughts are not worth much, but there they are.

I bid you good day.

Funny, but oh-so-true quotes

from Men May Come and Men May Go but I've Still Got My Little Pink Raincoat: Life and Love In and Out of My Wardrobe by Gigi Anders.

But I still love him. The eternal feminine position. Are we all masochists? Do we give men way more credit than they deserve? Should we reserve our credit strictly for plastic purchases?
p12

Who knows why men stay with us? I have no idea. I guess it’s because they love us, preferably naked, therefore canceling our entire shopping therapy core belief system.
p15

The first quote struck me because it is so true. So many girls let guys do whatever they want because they think they still love them, and that their positive qualities outweigh their flaws, even if their flaws are abuse. And on a less extreme level, everything guys do can piss off their girlfriends or whatnot, but they still stick around. At some point, this becomes a bad thing. If a guy sucks, it doesn't matter how awesome their eyes are or how well they kiss or how many flowers they give you. There comes a point when it is time to let go.

But, at the same time, you can't leave a guy just for a single flaw, or even a couple negative things. Nobody is perfect, and there's no way you'll ever find a guy you don't have a single problem with.

The second quote is funny too, but it's more silly. Who do girls dress to impress? My parents always think that when I dress up (or just get dressed; I don't often dress down) that I am doing it to impress a boy. Which I don't believe is true. Girls are competitive and dressing up is as much impressing girls as it is impressing guys. In this book (which so far is hilarious), she relates one item of clothing, makeup or accessory to a specific guy, who I think is supposed to fall for her as soon as he sees it on her. I don't believe guys are this shallow.

This quote also relates back to what we've talked about before, I think. Why do guys stay with us if they are supposed to be independent strong men? Of course, we've answered this question. They are not actually independent and strong all the time, maybe they need action (haha), they go weak when they meet someone special. Or if they are independent and strong they want to protect a lady, save a damsel in distress.

From The Today Show

Comment with thoughts, questions, arguments, etc!

Valentine's Day!

Okay I have to admit, I love Valentine's Day. I know there are a lot of people out there who think it's really dumb and really pointless and a waste of time and money and pinkness, but I love it. I can see how you would think it's dumb and all that, and yeah it is stupid to devote only one day to showing someone you care, but it's an awesome excuse to get roses and eat chocolate and bake cupcakes and wear pink and sparkley stuff and buy Hello Kitty Valentines!

For some reason, they force us to give Valentine's to everyone in your class in elementary school, which sucks for the parents who have to go out to buy useless pieces of paper, but it's awesome for us kids who get to eat and party and see if our crushes signed the valentine with "xoxo" (...I hope someone else did that, and not just me...). And then in middle school there's the rose sale. I don't think many people actually receive roses, though I did get one in 7th grade. In 9th grade, I dumped Duncan the day before Valentine's Day (I know, harsh), so I never got anything (I believe he ate the chocolate himself, haha, right Duncan?). Those are my two experiences with Valentine's Day so far.

Wow, I'm not making my point at all.

Okay so basically I'm really horrible when it comes to Valentine's Day. I have no idea whether or not the girl is supposed to get the guy anything, but I expect guys to get a teddy bear, a dozen roses, chocolate and a cute date. Except not really, because I probably wouldn't want that myself, but that's the cliché, right? I just expect the guy to do more than the girl does. Which I don't agree with on principle, but it's still what I expect. I mean, Valentine's Day is intended for the girl. Really, what is a guy going to do with teddy bears and roses?

But why is Valentine's Day the day to show your love? What about the other 364/5 days in the year? Of course you show your love every day of the year. It's sort of like Thanksgiving: that's not the only day to be grateful, but yet we pick one day for it each year. (Though I know there's all that pilgrim and indian stuff too, but we'll forget about that for the sake of this argument.) I'm sure there's a historic reason for Valentine's Day; it is called St. Valentine's Day, after all, right? I don't know: wiki it. We always have holidays to celebrate, because regular days are just too boring. Why not have fun with Valentine's Day and do something cute with who you love? Don't sit there and be all cynical about romance. It's your one day to be all mushygushy.

But what about all those single people out there? I guess you have good reason to hate Valentine's Day. But really, think about all those other single people. They need Valentines too; go pick up some hot guys! But this is a day about people you love, and you have friends whom you love, if not any significant others. So just bask in the happiness and feel the love <3

And guys, you don't have to spend a lot of money on girls. Just show her you care, it's not that hard. A lot of girls don't feel comfortable accepting huge gifts. Then again, some girls would hate it if you didn't get her something big. I think what works is figuring out how big your sig-other is going to go; unequal value of gifts is only going to make both people feel bad.

So go out and have an awesome Valentine's Day! Wear pink, eat cookies and hug people.