Dumping...dun, dun, dunnnn. (bring on the waterworks! lots of ice cream too!)

This topic came up a couple weeks ago at school, because apparently it was a health class assignment to write about how you’d want to be dumped or something? I personally have never been officially dumped, but I’ve never really been in much of a relationship before either. I do, however, know how I’d want to be dumped and how I would dump someone else.

Unless you’re in a messed up relationship, I would expect you can tell when a breakup is about to happen. Maybe things aren’t going well, or you never really talk or the fabulosity that your relationship once was isn’t there anymore. If that was the case, I’d say it’d be a “mutual breakup.” Some dispute that such a thing actually exists, but I believe it’s 100% possible. This would be my ideal breakup: sitting down and talking, and coming to the conclusion that you’re just not right for eachother. Sure it will be hard and there will be tears but it’s all on good terms.

But ideal breakups don’t always happen. In our imperfect world, things happen. Like, maybe you and your sig. other get into a huge fight, and one person screams “IT’S OVER!!” (like they do in movies) and you cry and wallow in anger and self-pity. Once you get over the initial shock, closure is totally necessary. You have to decide to move on without the anger emotion clouding your thoughts.

If your sig. other cheats on you, I guess it’s up to you to decide on giving second chances or not. On principle, I would say no way in hell do they deserve a second chance, but at the same time, I would totally probably give one anyway. It’s probably bad. But what can I say?

Anyway. I would prefer to be dumped in person. I would also prefer to dump someone else in person. It’s just so much more real, not to mention respectful. Over the phone is the tiniest step down from in person, so if you’re going to do that, why not just take the extra ounce of effort and meet them face to face? The worst ways to dump are facebook, email and texting. Texting is just a huge slap in the face. Like could you please care enough to at least dump me in person? And facebook. If you want your breakup all over the internet, be my guest and let everyone see the comment that ends your relationship. My problem with email is that the time you send the email and the time it’s received do not coincide at all. So when you’re done with the relationship, they don’t know it yet, and that’s just weird. Finally, there’s AIM. I know it’s not the best way, but sometimes it’s the only way. Maybe it’s impersonal, but it’s a way to get all your thoughts and feelings out at once, with an immediate response. In person, you can’t say everything at once. Emotions and the person’s response could totally inhibit that.

When I was talking about this a couple weeks ago, I was asked what I would actually say. It all depends on how the person reacts. But I’d start with, “I think we should break up.” Simple as that. But then, one of the guys I was talking to said that saying “I think” would be unfair, because they could say “I think we should stay together” and they couldn’t really have their wish. If I were to break up with someone, there is no way that I would let myself be convinced to change my mind. I would go in with the intention of breaking up and come out of it newly single, without a doubt. I also don’t think I could ever break up impulsively; I don’t trust myself enough to do that. I’d be afraid of regretting my decision later.

If I were to be dumped, I’d want the reason to be sincere and a good one. I’d want the person to be sensitive and caring about it. But then again, if the reason was jerky and stupid, I’d have a better reason to hate the guy. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want to hate the guy. Which brings me to my next and final topic....

Staying friends after the breakup. It’s possible, it really is. But I think it’s more likely if the two of you were friends before the relationship. If you guys met and immediately started dating, it’d be harder to be friends afterwards since you were never friend before. I hate the idea that a relationship, something that is good, can potentially end something like a friendship. Of course, it takes time after a breakup to be friends again, but if you let the hard feelings and awkwardness subside, it can happen.

So I lied. I just thought of one more little thing. Never regret a relationship you were in. For that matter, never regret anything. But seriously, if you had never been in that relationship, no matter how good or bad it was, you wouldn’t be the same person you are after the fact. Just sayin’.