On Relationships

Relationships: Generally they are just interactions between two people. But normally, when someone is in a relationship with someone else then they’re dating. Or they’re sucking face all over the place if they aren’t dating. But, what should a romantic relationship be. Especially at this time in our lives: high school, teenage years, college, et cetera.

What exactly does the term relationship mean to me, to you, to people in general? Why do we get into relationships at all? Sure, we’re socially and biologically programmed to have monogamous partners for life in a marriage type situation where we can reproduce. But for our age group, the reproduction aspect of any relationship is probably going to be one of the last things wanted by either party. So, why don’t we do the logical thing and when not have monogamy, but instead practice polygamy in the teenage and young adult years of our lives? We aren’t generally intending to create steady families out of our relationships and so why isn’t a relationship just an excuse to experiment and “get action,” to use a crude term. Maybe though the reason we get into relationships at all is to practice, not for sexual acts, but to practice for marriage and learning to live a life devoted to one person.

If we take the second postulate as fact and apply it, then how should the significant other be treated comes into question. What kind of treatment do they deserve? Are they really just another friend who you like to kiss on occasion? And if they aren’t just a friend and that’s the reason that you’re in this relationship with them, because you “like” them, or you are “in love” with them, how then do you treat them in relation to your other friends? Do you have to always be together; do you need to see each other every day; is talking to each other for seven hours in a row a day a bit excessive or just right; if your friends want to do something Saturday night, but so does your girlfriend, who do you chose; how does being in a relationship change your life?

Is there a limit to how much time is too much spent together with a girlfriend? Can that be answered? For me at least I know I want to spend a much time as possible with my girlfriend as possible, that’s why we’re dating, because I like to spend time with her. And so the simple answer would be that no, there is no limit. But what about your other friends? You like to spend time with them too. How can you divide your time between the two without making the other jealous? And that delicate balance is one of those things that have to be maintained. Because relationships have to include alone time, they can’t just be social gatherings where two people happen to go together all the time.

For me, the balance that should be achieved is crucial. One can never forget your friends, but what about your girlfriend? And this can explain why relationships are so hard, and why everyone feels jealousy. If someone is being taken away from a group of friends by someone else, or someone is being taken away from someone else by a group of friends the tensions on both sides will become wound up.

I don’t really know what to conclude this with, I feel like I’m talking in circles really and just coming back to the same thing over and over, so I’ll get on with it.

If you want to be a guest contributor, by the way, April and I have agreed on this plan: Email one of us (depending on your gender, if you’re a guy, email me, if you’re a girl, email April) with what you want to be posted and include your name (unless you feel strongly about being anonymous) and we’ll post with the title of guest contributor.

My email address is:
dmaclaur@nycap.rr.com
April’s email address is:
watermelon404@gmail.com