So, flirting: What is it, who does it and why is it something that is so ubiquitous?
Actually, that sounds silly, but whatever. April and I have decided tonight to bring you some lovely blog posts about flirting. Mostly because this is what we do when we’re bored, flirt, not blog, duh.
But actually, both.
So yeah, I’d define flirting as pretty much anything that is done to get the attention of someone who you like or are somehow attracted to. Of course, this doesn’t have to always be the case, because I know some girls (ok, only two) flirt because it’s fun. It draws attention to you, which is the point. Generally you draw this attention to yourself so that whoever you’re flirting “at” (does that make sense even, do you flirt at someone? To someone maybe?) notices you more and pays attention to you.
Ok, so basically that was some circular logic right there in that last paragraph (ok, lie, it really wasn’t circular logic, but I did sort of circle with my train of thought). Can you tell I have no idea what to write? Good.
So, is flirting something we do subconsciously or consciously. I’d say a little bit of both. Sure, a lot of flirting is overt and over the top, and at that point it isn’t even flirting, it’s just attention seeking. But of course, do people subtly flirt. Or accidently flirt? Is a guy hanging out with girls all the time subconsciously flirting all the time?
I don’t actually know where this is going and it’s sort of stupid.
Ok, back on topic. So, quintessentially the flirting tactic of all guys (over fifth grade age) is to annoy girls. Through any way they can, basically. This comes from poking them, making fun of them, ignoring them, being mean to them, whatever. And this is basically pretty true, at least from my experience. Teasing girls and annoying them is definitely one way to get their attention. Not always the best way, but not taken too far it seems to work, at least to some degree. Of course, what about compliments and stuff like that? Sure, that’s flirting but it’s a flirting you don’t see a lot really, it’s hard to pull off for a guy because you can’t just go up to someone that you don’t know well and be like “you look pretty good in those pants.” Unless you want to come off as creepy. But teasing is easier to do with people you don’t know, and even people you do know, and therefore it’s an easier form of flirting than flattery.
Ok, so I don’t think this post makes any sense. But, April and I wanted to post something. Seriously, people, I’m sure you have better insight than this because this is basically me rambling about nothing.
13 comments:
hahahhahahahhahahahah
LMAO
duncan you're hilarious.
And i think you flirt with someone. though that implies they're flirting back. but not always.
Flirting is just... flirting. It seems like you're looking for a deeper meaning where there isn't one. A guy/girl flirts in hopes that the action will be reciprocated, and really who doesn't like that feeling of desire. But i do agree that the most effective forms of flirting come when it's a subconscious action, because you're not worrying about what you'll receive in return.
ahhh c'est donc pour ça que ce garçon m'a lancé une boule de neige dans la tête, pour me draguer (achète toi un cerveau)..
(wouhou j'ai enfin réussi à poster un com/allez l'OL!)
Jairomaine
So I don't know what Je said...but yeah flirting is just flirting. I mean flirting with everyone is just really stupid though. I mean like talk about sending mixed messages, especially since the other anonymous poster in april's column said this too kinda. I mean I'll just kinda extend the argument though. If you flirt with everyone then how can someone tell why you are flirting with them. If you flirt for general attention and self fulfillment then how will the person that is being flirted with know why they are being flirted with, for example are they being flirted with just to make the flirter feel wanted, or cause they flirter is interested in them...That seems kinda backwards, anyways...I'm rambling...
I think that those people who flirt often also happen to be very well-liked people. It's nice to be flirted with and when somebody does that to you and makes you feel special, you're naturally attracted to them, not always in a romantic way, mind. This can also work negatively, as the previous poster said. If you make too many people feel special, there's no way to differentiate between your playful flirting and your meaningful flirting.
Flirting also in a way takes a bit of risk. It's a more subtle way of letting somebody know that you like them, the "flirter" is putting them self out there to be either accepted or rejected.
I agree mostly with the previous poster; however, I disagree that the flirter is usually well liked. Because their constant flirting can although in some cases be enjoyable, at other things just create tensions and could annoy people for a large variety of reasons. As a result, while the flirter may seem well liked, they could, with a closer look, not be very well liked at all and therefore be forced to flirt in order to achieve the appearance of having many friends, and being well liked.
I am going to guest contribute, Duncan, and just in case you're worried, no, I won't be a smartass.
I said something similar on April's post, but I'd just like to point out that there are different tones of flirting, and it's definitely a conscious decision as to which one you're using at a given point in time. Flirting, above all else, is just fun. Yes, it can backfire, but if you can draw the line at an appropriate place, it probably won't. It isn't right to deliberately toy with someone's emotions, but realistically, that's not what people who constantly flirt are trying to do. People need to take themselves less seriously, and just have a good time. I'm with the second poster: there really isn't a deeper meaning to flirting. Let's all enjoy the ride and feel sexy together :-P
I'd have to politely disagree with the poster before jason. In some cases, yes, when flirting is "used" at the wrong time it can cause anger, jealousy, turmoil, etc. But flirting is an art(haha) and like anything else, if used at the wrong time it can be disastrous. Though I think that if you'd go so far as to dislike a person solely because they flirt at inappropriate times, you need to put what they're doing into perspective: it's really a harmless act. As Jason said, a fun-loving gesture.
And also, i've never witnessed somebody flirting to create a false illusion of being well-liked; usually those people that are insecure enough to worry about other people's thoughts aren't willing to put them self out there and flirt. Of course there are exceptions, as always, so perhaps whoever you've got in mind is one of them.
That's so weird, I only flirt with someone with the intention of sleeping with them.
Completely.
:P
that would explain a lot, sara:-*
Well I apparently "flirt" with girls and all I do is be nice and sentimental - listen to them when they have issues and protect them from things that I view morally wrong. Here is an example: there was one time when a girl was doing all the work in a partner project and the guy she was working with was a complete abrasive ignoramus - so I talked to her so that she wouldn't be so stressed out and spoke to the guy and told him to do his damn job. Well apparently a week later when I stopped talking to her, after I made sure she was ok, she got pissed at me because she said I was flirting with her citing the fact that I helped her get through a hard time...Who knew that constituted as flirting? But here is the truly troubling thing - this has happened more than once. (sarcasm warning) So based upon this, flirting must be being nice and sentimental and helping girls in need...Clearly
Haha, I like your story, Chris. That doesn't work for me, unfortunately. Because if it did the ladies would be all over me (sometimes).
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