I basically agree with everything Duncan already said, but I’m hoping I can add to it or provoke different ideas amongst you readers. Duncan relates this topic to his recent breakup, but I can relate it to the relationship I’m in currently.
In my opinion, I’m a good judge of character and I don’t get blinded by love or anger or any emotion too too much. I believe that if I were being abused or mistreated, I would know. I’m strong enough to put an end to it.
...Buttttt you never know. So, when my friends started telling me that they thought my boyfriend wasn’t caring or whatever, I freaked out a little. I talked to a couple people about it. And it’s not like I don’t realize that he jokes around a lot and makes fun of me, but it never really bothers me. But still, I took these concerns to heart because I know that my friends are just looking out for me and I also did not want to be the idiot at the end.
But ultimately, while my friends know me well enough, they don’t know the dynamic of my relationship at all. So I put these concerns aside and I’ll save them for when he’s actually being a jerk. For now though, I’m totally fine with the way things are, though I know that no matter how many times I emphasize that, no one will ever fully believe me.
And that’s the way it is. Like Duncan said, only the two people actually involved in the relationship truly know what’s going on. Sure, sometimes they need friends to get them out of a denial stage, but for the most part, the two people know themselves the best.
I think outsiders and onlookers have a right to be concerned and to judge and to let you know what’s up if they see a red flag, but they also have to bestow a great amount of trust in the couple. If a couple is actually having a problem, trust that they’ll work things out themselves. There’s no need to meddle, most of the time.
Nota Bene. There are always exceptions to a rule. As with everything, it depends on the situation at hand. But still, whatever happens, happens.
2 comments:
Yeah, it sure is nice when friends look out for people in relationships to make sure they are going well. I'm glad people do that so well...
Agreed with anonymous - it is nice when friends look out for people in relationships. Its always nice to know that there are people who will catch you and help you if you end up having a bad relationship. However this vigilante committee, while it may be good in its intentions, may over analyze things and get too worked up over the fact that your boyfriend does something "questionable" whatever that means
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